Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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