The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
