I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
