who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
We are all done wearing pants today
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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