How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Yo dont text me then not text me
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Randomize
