I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
