WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
