it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
He passed out mid-signature
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
