I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
