so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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