just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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