no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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