I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
