You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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