Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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