Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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