would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Come see our sink grown plant.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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