doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
