as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
