i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
