Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked my hip out of place.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize