She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
