The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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