just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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