Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I have aggressive nipples.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
