I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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