last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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