I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
