I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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