oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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