So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
