WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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