I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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