i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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