Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
