Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
