You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
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Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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