Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
