well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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