Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
