She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
