Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
