Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
