Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
