I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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