It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
How does one acquire holy water?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
