Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
