plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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