You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
