K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
