I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize