I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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