I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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