I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
this is an emotional support booty call
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize