How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
