She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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