you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
