Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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