should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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